Turns out when people say "I'll be with you forever" they're lying. Not that 'forever' is really a realistic thing to expect, but when you truly love someone and they just leave you, it's hard to grasp a strong hold on reality. It's sort of like you're hanging off the edge of a cliff, and you have two options: stay dangling and hope to God someone will find you before you slip, or close your eyes and hope for the best, plunging down to the depths of despair.
Forever seemed like a dazzling prospect, a way to start over and pave the path to the future I wanted to take. Grab the wheel and start driving my own car. But then 'forever' smashed like a broken mirror, and I was back to square one again.
It almost seems like I'd have been better off had I just ignored him and went on with my business--but no, I always have to jump on spur-of-the-moment ideas, all happy and excited, only days later to fall flat on my face again.
I think I'm starting to see a pattern here.
Thus why for the past week I've been singing P!nk's "Who Knew" non-stop. It's only too perfect for my current situation, a fact I find incredibly saddening and upsetting. The only thing worse than "Who Knew" would be "Over My Head (Cable Car)" or "How to Save a Life" by the Fray.
Five minutes later...
I put on "How to Save a Life" and I'm bawling. Why do I subject myself to this?!
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