No sequel--no book or film or feat--is ever as good as the first time. The first piece of writing. First big idea put to screen. First attempt at doing something mind-blowing.
What do I refer to, you ask? The Matrix, written and directed by the Wachowski Brothers (Ironic, though, since they're actually brother and sister--so...siblings?). The first one was so fantastic, so creative, so crazy and out there, it was declared the "blockbuster of the year". It was, though. Mind-blowing and insane, I mean. The first time I watched it, it made me question my own existence.
Heads-up, though. If you've never watched it before, prepare yourself for a movie that defines 'suspend disbelief' or throughout it you'll be asking questions like:
How did the link get traced between Trinity and Cypher? Was it Cypher's doing in hopes of keeping Trinity and Morpheus from successfully collecting Neo? To put him at the Agents' mercy?
How does everyone who's unplugged manage to wear so much leather and never complain about it? Also, since they only ever wear it in the Matrix, which is effectively nonexistent itself, does that mean they're naked, then? Are their clothes 'not real' because the Matrix is simply an elaborate trap for your mind? And nothing exists?!
In the beginning, how do the Agents know the two units the police lieutenant sent up are already dead? I know they're the Gatekeepers and everything, but really. They're not psychic.
Why do all the Agents wear Secret Service earpieces when they're right next to each other? Are the earpieces actually just hearing aids in disguise?!
Why does Trinity have to go into the Matrix to track Neo? They have lots of computers on the Nebuchadnezzar, right? So why don't they just use the computers on the hovercraft to find him? Wouldn't it be a lot easier? Not to mention a whole lot safer?!
Everyone in that movie must have infinite ammo. They're all terrible shots, and for every fifty thousand bullets, they maybe once or twice manage to hit something. Geez, what a waste!
What is so special about Neo that makes Morpheus believe him to be 'the one'? There's a lot of whispered stuff about it, but they don't ever come out and say like, "Hey, this guy's special because..."
Why is everything in the movie always slightly green-tinted? Did I miss something? Is 'the Matrix' another name for the color green?!
Why is everyone's go-to wardrobe item almost always black, skin-tight and made out of leather? I know this movie was made in 1999, but come on. Not everywhere they go is hosting a rave!!
What's up with that obnoxious girl who plays Anthony's girlfriend in the beginning? She's like a slutty Kristen Stewart. I've taken to calling her "Fish Face."
The million dollar question: WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMN MOVIE MUMBLE?! DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO HEAR THEM?! ARGHH!!
Why does Keanu Reeves have only, like, two or three facial expressions? They all look the same, but they mean slightly different things. One: brooding and moody. Two: pissed-off and petulant. And three: cool, calm, and collected. Oh, yeah, and then there's his Dopey Face, which he only ever employs when he's looking at Trinity.
Why don't the unplugged carry cell phones with them to transport them back to the ship? Wouldn't that be, I don't know, easier or something? I mean, in the beginning, TRINITY ALMOST GETS RUN OVER BY A TRUCK TRYING TO PICK UP THE PHONE AT THE PHONEBOOTH!!
Another thing. What's up with people (ahem, cough, cough, Trinity) trying to hold serious and meaningful conversations in the midst of very dangerous situations?! Really?! Like at the Subway Showdown scene near the end, the phone's ringing and the homeless guy is transforming into Agent Smith, and what is Trinity doing? Why, she's trying to tell Neo how much she loves him, of course! Because God forbid she waits to tell him that until they're both to safety! Also, if she hadn't decided to blurt out her guts to Neo right then and there, they probably both would have been fine. BUT NO, TRINITY HAS TO BE SELFISH AND PROFESS HER LOVE FOR HIM FIRST. JESUS.
No comments:
Post a Comment